Captain Pantoja and the Special Service Read online

  NOTE: Taking into consideration the natural concern of each individual for what others might say, for human prejudices, as well as the logical fear of being the butt of jokes on the part of anyone who might recognize himself among these exceptions, the supervising officer is advised how risky it would be, in order to complete this statistical elimination, to rely exclusively on the testimony of each recruit or soldier. Therefore, in order to answer this part of the questionnaire, it is recommended that the officer combine the facts obtained from his personal interrogation with the testimony of others (friends’ and companions’ confidential information concerning the subject), his own observations or some clever and daring subterfuge.

  3. Having performed this subtraction and having established the number of recruits and soldiers, UNMARRIED WITH MARITAL CAPABILITY, under your command, proceed with cunning and discretion to verify among those who compose this group the number of marital services each subject calculates or knows he will require monthly in order to satisfy the requirements of his virility.

  NOTE: The questionnaire attempts to establish a tabulation of minimum and maximum aspiration, according to this example:

  Maximum aspirations per month: 30

  Subject X

  Minimum aspirations per month: 4

  4. Having established the preceding tabulation, attempt to determine among the same group of unmarried men with marital capability under your command, by means of the same technique of indirect soundings, seemingly casual questions, etc., how much time the subject calculates or positively knows the marital service will last in his case (from the preliminaries to its full conclusion), according to the same maximum/minimum scheme:

  Maximum aspiration per service: 2 hours

  Subject X

  Minimum aspiration per service: 10 minutes

  NOTE: Compute the averages for sections 3 and 4 of the questionnaire separately and relay these figures without particularizing the information. The questionnaire intends to establish the desired normal monthly average of services necessary to the virility of the recruits and soldiers under your command, as well as the desired normal mean time for each service.

  (d) That the undersigned desires to give evidence of the enthusiasm, the speed and the efficiency with which the officers of the garrisons, posts and encampments have responded to the questionnaire at hand (only one-fifteenth of the posts could not be consulted because of obstacles to communication due to imperfections in the transmitting apparatus, bad weather, etc.), which has warranted the drawing up of the following table:

  Potential number of users of the Special Service:

  8,726 (eight thousand seven hundred and twenty-six)

  Number of monthly services (average aspired to per user):

  12 (twelve)

  Time of individual use (average time aspired to):

  30 (thirty) minutes

  All of which means that in order to fully accomplish its mission, the Special Service would have to be in a position to guarantee to all the Garrisons, Frontier and Related Installations of Region V (Amazon) a monthly average of 104,712 (one hundred four thousand seven hundred and twelve) services, an objective obviously far beyond the present potential.

  (e) That the undersigned is conscious of the obligation to initiate the Service, establishing modest and attainable goals, keeping in mind the truth and wisdom concealed in sayings such as “Haste makes waste” and “The early bird catches the worm.”

  5. That it is necessary to know if the intermediate ranks should be included among the potential users of the Special Service. The undersigned requests a rapid clarification on this matter, because if the superiors’ answer is affirmative, the estimates obtained will alter considerably. Keeping in mind the already elevated number of potential users and the increased number of aspirations they indicate, the undersigned takes the liberty of suggesting that, at least in the first stage of its operation, the Special Service not include the intermediate ranks of officers.

  6. (a) That he also proceeded to establish the first contacts for the purpose of recruitment. Thanks to the cooperation of an individual answering to the name of Porfirio Wong, alias the Chink, whom he met by chance in the nightclub designated the Mau Mau (260 Pebas St.), he made a nighttime visit to a place of entertainment, located on the highway to Nanay Beach, that is administered by Madame Leonor Curinchila, alias Chuchupe, and frequented by loose women. Since the said Leonor Curinchila is a friend of Porfirio Wong, the latter was able to introduce her to the undersigned, who, for his purposes, was able to pass himself off as a businessman (import/export), having recently settled in Iquitos and being in search of recreation. The above-mentioned Leonor Curinchila showed herself to be cooperative and the undersigned—there being no other way out than to drink a lot (receipt 8)—succeeded in gathering valuable data related to the work system and the habits of the establishment’s personnel. Thus in Casa Chuchupe some 16 women form what might be called the permanent stable, because there are others—about 15 or 20—who work irregularly, coming some days, missing others, for reasons ranging anywhere from venereal diseases (e.g., gonorrhea or chancres), contracted in the offering of their services, to transitory concubinage or short-term contracts (e.g., accompanying a lumberjack on a week’s trip to the mountains), which temporarily take them away from their place of business. In brief, the entire staff of Casa Chuchupe, both fixed and fluctuating, is some 30 prostitutes, although the actual (but rotating) stable each night is only half that. On the day when the undersigned carried out his inspection, he recorded only eight present, but there was a special reason: the arrival in Iquitos of the aforementioned Brother Francisco. Most of these eight must be more than twenty-five years old, although this calculation is uncertain, since in the Amazon the women age prematurely, it not being uncommon to meet on the street very seductive-looking women with developed hips, firm breasts and an insinuating walk who, judging by the standards of the coast, are assumed to be twenty or twenty-two and then turn out to be thirteen or fourteen. Besides, the undersigned conducted his observations half in the dark, Casa Chuchupe being poorly lighted, because there are not enough electrical outlets, or maybe on account of lasciviousness, since darkness is more seductive than light and, if I may be permitted a joke, since “all cats look gray in the dark.” Pushing thirty, then, the majority are average-looking from a good distance, if evaluated by a functional criterion and without going into fine points. That is, they have attractive and rounded bodies, especially in the hips and the breasts—parts that tend to be generous in this corner of our country—and presentable faces, although at close range it is possible to confirm more defects, the result not so much of being born ugly but rather of acne, smallpox and the loss of teeth—the latter a fairly frequent mishap in the Amazon because of the debilitating climate and inadequate diet. Among the eight women present, those with white skin and native jungle features predominated; next came the mulattoes and finally those of an Oriental type. The average height is short rather than tall and the vitality and the joy typical of this country is a common characteristic of the personnel. During his stay on the premises, the undersigned saw that when they were not offering their services, the prostitutes danced and sang enthusiastically, making a racket without giving any signs of fatigue or dampened spirits, and often breaking out with jokes and brashness of the shameful nature only to be expected in this sort of establishment. But, at the same time, they did not have a troublemaking nature, although judging from the jokes that escaped from Madame Leonor’s and Porfirio Wong’s lips, bloody accidents and incidents do sometimes occur.

  Furthermore, the undersigned states: (b) That he was also able to verify, thanks to the aforementioned Chuchupe, that rates for services vary and that only two thirds revert to whoever performs the service, the remaining third going to the house. (c) That the difference in rates has to do with the greater or lesser physical attractiveness of the prostitute; with the duration of the service (the client who wants to be serviced several times or
to sleep with whoever has attended him naturally pays more than someone who is content with an expeditious and merely physiological service); and also, and above all, with the level of the prostitute’s specialization and tolerance. Madame Curinchila explained to the undersigned that very much to the contrary of what the latter had innocently suspected, it is not a majority but rather a small minority of clients who are content with a simple and normal service (rate: 50 soles; duration: 15 to 20 minutes), most clients demanding a series of variations, elaborations, additions, distortions and complications that fall under what has come to be called “sexual aberrations.” (d) That among the full gamut of services offered are those ranging from simple masturbation performed by the prostitute (manual: 50 soles; oral or “blow job”: 200 soles) to the act of sodomy (in vulgar terms: “up the chocolate chute” or “browning”: 250 soles) or 69 (200 soles), Sapphic spectacles or “bumping pussy” (200 soles per person), or more infrequent cases such as those of clients who demand to whip or be whipped, to put on or view costumes and be admired, humiliated and even defecated upon, extravagances whose rates fluctuate between 300 and 600 soles.

  (e) That keeping in mind the dominant sexual ethic in this country and the reduced budget of the SSGFRI, the undersigned has reached the decision to limit the services that may be requested of his co-workers, and consequently to what the users may aspire, to simple and normal service, excluding all the enumerated deviations and those related in spirit. (f) That as a function of this premise the Special Service will establish the recruitment and will fix the duration and price per service. Which will not prevent the Service, when it has come to fully satisfy the demand in quantitative terms—if its finances increase—from considering the suitability of initiating qualitative diversification of its services in order to take care of particular cases, fantasies or necessities (if the superiors so permit and authorize).

  (g) That the undersigned was unable to establish precisely what the calculation of probabilities and the sales figures (marketing) would indicate is the daily average of services that a prostitute renders or is prepared to render, in order to have a tentative idea, first, of her monthly earnings and, second, of her operational capacity; because, apparently, the most extraordinary arbitrariness reigns in this field. Thus in one week a prostitute can earn what she will later not be able to collect in two months, all depending on many factors, among which are, possibly, the climate and even the stars (astral influence on glands and male sex drives), which are not worth determining. (h) That the undersigned was at least able to ascertain, chiefly by means of jokes and tricky questions, that the most attractive and efficient of them can in a good night’s work (Saturday or the eve of a holiday) perform some twenty services without being left excessively exhausted, which authorizes the following formulation: a convoy of ten specialists chosen from among those with the greatest output would be in the position to provide 4,800 simple and normal services per month (a six-day work week), working full time and without accident. Which means that in order to meet the maximum desired objective of 104,712 monthly services, a permanent corps of 2,115 specialists in the maximum category would be required. A fantastically high figure at this time, of course.

  Furthermore, he states: (i) That apart from the prostitutes who work in establishments (in this city, besides Casa Chuchupe there are two others of the same sort, although, apparently, of an inferior class), there is in Iquitos a large number of women nicknamed “washerwomen,” who lead a loose life in an ambulatory manner, offering their services from house to house—by preference at dusk and at dawn, since these are the hours of least police vigilance—or stationing themselves at different spots, such as the Plaza of 28 July and the environs of the cemetery, in search of customers. For this reason it seems obvious that the SSGFRI will not have any difficulty in recruiting personnel since the native work force is more than sufficient for our moderate initial potential.

  (j) That the female personnel of Casa Chuchupe, like that of similar places, as well as the “washerwomen” who operate on their own, have male protectors (gigolos or pimps), generally individuals from a bad background, some having debts to settle with the law, to whom the women are obliged (many do it voluntarily) to hand over all or part of their wages. This aspect of the matter—the existence of gigolos and pimps—will have to be kept in mind by the Special Service at the time of personnel recruitment, since these individuals unquestionably could become a source of problems. But from his unforgettable days as a cadet, the undersigned knows well that there is no mission without its difficulties and that there are no difficulties that cannot be conquered by energy, will power and work.

  (k) That the management and maintenance of Casa Chuchupe seems to be conducted successfully only due to the efforts of two people: the owner, Leonor Curinchila, and, performing duties that range anywhere from bartender to janitor, a little man of very short stature, almost a dwarf, of undefinable age and mestizo background, Juan Rivera, nicknamed Freckle, who jokes familiarly with the personnel and who is obeyed by them with speed and respect and who is also popular with the clientele. Which makes the undersigned think that, following the above-mentioned example, the Special Service would be able to function with a minimum of administrative personnel, provided that it is properly structured.

  (1) That his reconnaissance of a possible place for intercourse has served the undersigned to form a general idea of the environment in which he must necessarily work and to conceive some immediate plans, which, once worked out, he will submit to his superiors for their approval, revision or rejection.

  7. (a) That in his desire to acquire broader scientific knowledge giving him better control of the goal to be attained and the means by which to attain it, the undersigned attempted to obtain in the libraries and bookstores of Iquitos a stock of books, pamphlets and magazines related to the topic of the services which the SSGFRI should offer. Unfortunately, he must communicate to his superiors that his efforts have been nearly fruitless, because in the two libraries of Iquitos—the Municipal Library and that of the College of St. Augustine—he found no text, neither general nor specialized, specifically devoted to the subject which interested him (sex and related matters). Instead, he experienced some rather embarrassing moments inquiring about the subject, since he obtained curt answers from the employees, and, in the St. Augustine library, a priest allowed himself to go so far as to even insult him by calling him immoral. Nor in the three bookstores of the city, the Lux, the Rodríguez and the Mesía (there is a fourth, that of the Seventh-Day Adventists, where it was not worthwhile to attempt an inquiry), could the undersigned find any first-rate material. To make matters worse, he only obtained, at high prices (receipts 9 and 10), some insignificant and cheap manuals bearing the titles How to Develop the Male Drive, Aphrodisiacs and Other Secrets of Love, All About Sex in Twenty Lessons, with which he has modestly inaugurated the library of the SSGFRI. (b) That he requests his superiors, if they see fit, to send him from Lima a selection of specialized works on everything related to sexual activity, masculine and feminine, in theory and in practice, and especially documentation on matters of basic interest like venereal diseases, sexual prophylaxis, perversions, etc., which undoubtedly will have a beneficial effect on the Special Service.

  8. (a) That to conclude with a rather humorous personal anecdote and in order to alleviate the indecent subject matter of this dispatch, the undersigned takes the liberty to recount that his visit to Casa Chuchupe lasted until nearly four in the morning and caused a serious gastric disturbance, resulting from the copious libations he had to imbibe and to which he is little accustomed because of his nonexistent taste for liquor and his doctor’s proscription (some hemorrhoids, fortunately already eradicated). (b) That he had to recover by resorting to a civilian doctor so as not to avail himself of the military clinic in conformance with the instructions received (receipt 11), and not a few domestic difficulties caught up with him when he returned home at those hours and in that improper condition.
r />   God bless you.

  [Signed]

  CAPT. (QUARTERMASTER) PANTALEÓN PANTOJA, PA

  cc: Gen. Roger Scavino, Commander in Chief of Region V (Amazon)

  encl: 11 receipts and 1 map

  Night of August 16–17, 1956

  Under a blazing sun, the bugle for reveille begins the day in the barracks of Chiclayo: buzzing commotion in the barracks, shouts of joy in the yards, cottony smoke from the kitchen chimneys. In a few seconds everybody has awakened and everywhere there reigns a warm, benevolent, stimulating atmosphere of alert readiness and lively abundance. But, meticulous, uncorruptible, punctual, Lieutenant Pantoja is crossing the open area—the taste of coffee with boiled goat’s milk and toast with preserved eggfruit still in his mouth—where the band practices for the National Holidays parade. The columns of one company are marching up and down in straight lines and high spirits. But, rigid, Lieutenant Pantoja is now overseeing the distribution of breakfast to the soldiers: his lips are silently counting and, prophetically, when he mutely reaches 120, the mess sergeant serves the last drop of coffee and hands out piece of bread number 120 as well as the 120th orange. But now Lieutenant Pantoja, standing still as a statue, watches how some soldiers are unloading sacks of provisions from the truck: his fingers follow the rhythm of the unloading like a conductor following the measures of a symphony. Behind him, a firm voice, with an almost imperceptibly masculine depth to it that only an ear as sharp as a scalpel could detect, Colonel Montes paternally asserts: “Better food than Chiclayo’s? Gentlemen, neither the Chinese nor the French have anything to compare with seventeen varieties of duck with rice.” But now Lieutenant Pantoja is carefully tasting the contents of the kitchen kettles without moving one facial muscle. The mulatto Chanfaina, the head cook, has his eyes fixed on the officer, and the sweat on his forehead and the quivering of his lips reveal anxiety and panic. But now Lieutenant Pantoja, in the same meticulous and inexpressive way, is examining the clothes the laundry returned, which two privates are stuffing into plastic bags. But now, in reverent gestures, Lieutenant Pantoja is presiding over the distribution of boots to the recently weighed-in recruits. But now Lieutenant Pantoja, with an expression—yes, now he is animated and almost loving—is pinning little flags onto some charts, correcting the statistical curves on a blackboard, adding a figure to a logistics chart. The company band is playing a lively folk dance.